How to Drink a Fine Pinot Noir By Yourself:

0) Have a previously purchased bottle ready for uncorking

1) Don't tell a soul

2) Relish in scent as you open the bottle

3) Turn on the evening news or some other such malarchy to drown out the silence

4) Sip delicately, yet deeply

5) Try not to think about the past

6) Put on some music which makes you feel the fight of life (Pearl Jam works for me) because you're probably thinking about the past despite yourself

7) Never ever look up an idealic place (in my case, Sweden) on google maps because it holds fine memories of family and a place where you fit in and will only make you wish for some place where you think you'll feel less alone

8) Go to bed before it all comes crashing down

9) Admonish yourself for making such a maudlin fool about life and go to bed if you didn't already do so

**Repeat as needed**