Help me I'm in indie rock hell... (A metaphor for life)

It has been an increasingly strong feeling I've been getting when I look select surroundings, whether it be Reckless Records, The Empty Bottle, the other Reckless Records, Filter, Hardboiled Records (and that crabass that owns it), among other locales for the snotty and self-righteous. It's a grim sense of getting old and still not finding what I thought would come from Indie land. At this point, I'm just starting to think it may be a smaller capitalistic culture, despite that some bands and artists seem to have the right idea (see Spoon, see The Arcade Fire, see 90 Day Men or Chin Up Chin Up). At this point I lose my ability to reason because I can't tell if I am really discussing the "scene" or myself and my relation to it. Nevertheless, this indecision is part of the hell that indie life has brought me, forever on the crossroads, never on the road to anywhere special. I want to be headed somewhere special. I just don't know what road to take and where it will lead. I want to get on the fucking road already!!